I was seeing this guy that I had been friends with for a long time and he told me he wanted it to be NSA...?

Anyway, we had been friends for a relly long time before we started seeing eachother. We were having a really great time. Needless to say I started having feelings and I started to "press" the subject. He has totally backed off. Also I might add this guy has semi serious substance abuse issues (heavy drinking and cocaine). You wouldn't know this fi you saw him. He's 42 very good looking and successful. I'm 28 attractive and a teacher. I feel like a complete idiot but I am somewhat heartsick over the situation. HELP I know I can do better but I don't understand why I'm only attracted to men that are emotionally unavailable and jacked up in some way.